From Here to There (Part 3 of 5) By Pati Hope
The first duty to every human being is to himself. Every person owes himself the duty of finding how to live a full and happy life. Napoleon Hill
Knowing ourselves on a deeper level only comes when we are willing to be still and listen as the desires of our heart reveal themselves to us. Everyone wants to be seen and feel loved but sometimes we don’t even know what we can do for ourselves or what others can do for us that make us feel that way. As part of our quest to live mindfully during the holidays, let’s investigate what our own personal language of love is; in other words, what makes us feel loved and cherished. Once we’ve discovered that, we can take it one step further and explore with others the language of love that speaks to them. Probably, you can already see how this information can be an invaluable tool in saving time and drama in our lives.
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of 5 Love Languages, the are five different love languages and he identified them as these: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Act of Service, and Physical Touch. I was surprised to learn that everyone in my family spoke a different language when it came to how we each as individuals feel and perceive love.
Can you identify which of these love languages you relate to? You may find that you have more than one like I do. Just rank them in order of most to least important of how you feel today and don’t forget to recheck in periodically and reevaluate as you may find they shift and evolve through time just as we do.
I’ll show you by using me as an example. If a person wants to show their love for me, they would do something with me or for me. So my main language of love is Quality Time and Act of Service, however, I always enjoy Physical Touch as well. But Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts rank in the bottom two of how I feel loved. Good to know, right?
For a moment, let’s talk about Gift Giving. Although just one of the five love languages, it has become a tradition as well as a trap at holiday time. Why is there some much emphasis and pressure on giving of gifts? Sometimes we continue to do things just because it’s the way we’ve always done it, or because we don’t want to talk about it with others, we don’t want to appear cheap or, the best yet is that we give gifts because it feeds our own addiction of shopping.
However, simply by taking some time to decipher our love language and by speaking the love language of the other person, we can save ourselves a lot of time and drama. It’s pointless to buy gifts for someone whose love language doesn’t comprehend gifts. We can consciously and fully participate in this holiday season, knowing that what we do for others from love is a choice that we’ve made and not something we continue to do from routine or obligation.
(Still to come, Alternatives to Buying Gifts, The Sacred Art of Re-gifting, Boundaries and Living Beyond Obligation.)
Pati Hope – Author, Founder & Executive Director of Evolve to Live
As the founder of Evolve to Live, a Nonprofit 501 (c)(3) Educational Outreach organization, Pati is fulfilling a long time dream. By creating this organization, she is bringing her extensive life experiences, skills as an author (three books and counting), inspirational speaker, transitional coach, energy healer and adventurer under one roof to benefit her clients and community. She is passionate about providing workshops, educational outreach, sessions and speaking to groups both large and small to share her insights and experiences. Pati embodies the mission of Evolve to Live, which is to “Embrace Change and to live life with renewed passion and joy!”
Read here the previous article from the holiday series by Pati Hope