One way or another, love plays an essential part in the human experience on this planet. It is a topic that for centuries has been tackled by poets, writers, moreover common people. On the other hand, show business, TV and film industry have all well influenced how we should or should not conceptualize and depict love, or what to expect from our relationships with other people whether they be our parents, friends or romantic partners.
Undoubtedly, love is a huge topic, and in this issue at Meditation Talks, we just got the right person to tackle some aspects on the topic of love and make you challenge your personal beliefs about what love is. It’s been a pleasure to talk and discuss this with author A.G. Billig, an expert in the field, hence we hope you will enjoy her answers as much as we did!
Meditation Talks (MT): What made you start exploring and writing on the topic of love?
A.G.: I intuitively knew since my teenage years that there’s more to being on Earth than the typical Western world life pattern: being born, going to school, getting a job, starting a family, buying the house and the car(s), retiring, and dying. Such a life didn’t make any sense to me. For many years, I looked for life’s meaning outside. It’s only recently that I found out that the answer was inside my heart all along. I believe that life’s about finding our way back to love. It took me a seven-year spiritual journey, which included reading books, practicing Reiki, meditation, and yoga, traveling on three continents, losing friends and work colleagues who were my age into a fire, to get this answer. You can read more about it in the opening chapter of my book, “I Choose Love.” It was a journey from fear (of rejection, not being good enough, poverty, loneliness, death) to love. It is by tearing down the walls we built around our heart in our childhood to avoid the pain that we allow love into our lives.
MT: Is there one single most important lesson you learned in life about love and that helped you shape your work?
A.G.: Pointing at only one thing is hard. Although we may not realize it, all our experiences play a similarly important role in the puzzle of our existence. Self-love is where everything begins. Self-love isn’t about selfishness, but about realizing how magnificent we are. We are cosmic beings having a human experience. Our bodies and minds are a perfect creation. We all have gifts and talents. We are kind and want to help each other. Self-love is about observing these attributes in us. Accepting us warts and all. Nourishing our being at all levels – body, mind, soul, spirit. Once we do this for us, we can do it for other people.
MT: Can we say that there is something like “most important type” of love, in terms of love in family, love for friends, romantic love, and so forth?
A.G.: One of the commonest misconceptions of our times is that there are different types of love. “True love” makes me smile. Think about it. If true love exists, fake love exists as well. Love is one of those words that are self-sufficient. We don’t need to use an adjective to define it because it comprises everything. Love is, by definition, true, everlasting, compassionate, generous, divine, unconditional. It is a constant stream of energy; it is our state of being. Therefore, we can’t say that there are ‘types of love.” When our heart is open, every day is magic. We are in constant state of gratitude and love for everyone and everything. We feel love not because somebody did us a favor or treated us nicely or because we have the same blood. Nor do we mistake loneliness, infatuation, physical attraction, codependency for love. We feel love because we are love and love ourselves. This doesn’t mean that some people – our friends, family members, significant one don’t play a special role in our life. But the attachment and expectations usually present in these relationships are gone.
MT: In your opinion, is there a way through which people can use love as a “destructive force”?
A.G.: Love can never be used as a destructive force. What people can use as a “destructive force” is a false image about love. Love isn’t about “duty” or “must” or “loss” or “lack.” But many people believe it is so that they can be easily manipulated into doing things. Love never asked for killing, but religion did. Do you see the difference?
For many centuries, books and, more recently, movies depicted romantic love as the root of personal life disasters. But if you have a closer look at those books and movies, you will realize that the ego, not love, caused trouble. Trying to fill the inner void with another person, a lack of self-love and self-knowledge, living on autopilot.
Immerse yourself in love; that’s the only way you can find happiness. Also, don’t forget that each person in your life who pushes your button is your teacher and the Universe never puts you through more than you can handle.
MT: How being unconscious about your feeling, love as one per example, can reflect negatively in life?
A.G.: Being unaware of our emotions, in general, leads to having certain experiences we tend to label as negative. But those experiences point us in the right direction; in other words, pay attention, there’s something for you there to acknowledge and heal. It can be the relationship to your parents with money. I don’t believe, though, that we can be unconscious about our feelings. What people do is they repress them because they’ve learned that some emotions are unacceptable (like anger, for example). This translates into illnesses, accidents, and loss of goods and money. Repressed feelings and emotions keep us on “autopilot” mode. We never live in the present, but in the past and future. Therefore, most of the times we react instead of acting.
MT: One tip you would share with our readers how to be more mindful in life when it comes to feelings and personal well-being.
A.G.: Connect with your heart and stop the outside noise (thoughts, other people’s opinions and expectations from you, mass-media). I find it so important that I wrote a chapter about it. Your heart has all the answers; it is the place where you find out who you really are, the authentic you, and find what you call “true and unconditional” love.
MT: Thank you very much A.G. for providing us with much igniting and thought-provoking answers. We are certain that your words will make many of our readers contemplate on love and how significant it is to live a life of growth and happiness. Thank you once again!
About A.G. Billig: A.G. is published best-selling author, digital entrepreneur, radio and TV host, and spiritual seeker. She the recipient of several literary awards and also a contributor to various media outlets in the U.S. and Europe on topics related to self-publishing, self-improvement, and healthy life – style.