#4 Learn how not to judge yourself. Fully embrace self-compassion
Sometimes in life it is good that we juxta-position ourselves towards a particular problem we may have. Observe how you react towards a particular problem. Observe how you treat others as well, and how you treat yourself when it comes down to some problem.
Imagine situations. For instance, that you are the best person in your social circle to whom friends come and seek relationships advice. You are the one that gives the best solution for their problem, because you have learnt how to be compassionate with the others. That’s good. But if you fail to treat yourself with the same compassion and be unable to resolve personal relationship issues, what’s the point?
It has a lot to do with self-compassion. Be introspective. Give yourself the advise you would give as if you were the friend of yours who is seeking relationship advise.
There is also one other scientifically proven practice you can try out to elevate your self-compassion, and it is called the Self-Compassion Break. If you are overwhelmed with pain and suffering (and this is what essentially makes you less resilient), try the following:
- Be mindful and observe your feelings and thoughts. Stay conscious to each thought and each moment that is happening to you. If something hurts in your relationship, identify it by saying, OK, this hurts, and I won’t resist it – I will try to understand it;
- You are not alone (and play that Olive’s song from the 1990’s). Human emotions are perplexed. Human behavior is strange. There is nothing more intriguing than human behavior. Embrace the fact that everybody suffers and everything is temporary, and as every human being, you too shall go through those moments;
- Be kind to yourself: Be compassionate with yourself. Remember, you are your own best company, you are your own best healer, you are the magician and the director of your own life. If you are not kind, you are not gonna get any further than where you are now.
Embrace other ways how to be more self-compassionate. Write your future self a letter where you project yourself what your life is going to be in 1 year time, in 3 years time, in 10 years time. Psychologists agree that having a positive vision about yourself is already the good start towards a better future for you personally.
Elevate the above statement at a world level. Why the world needs visionary leaders who can make the world better, not worst? A good start is half the battle won. It is true for you personally as individual, and for us globally as communities. Keep going until the last slide where we tackle this topic bit more.